Jackalsmith Says Options Probe Exonerates Executives

Jackalsmith International today exonerated its chief executive, Harvey Jackalsmith, of any wrongdoing in a stock options backdating probe.

In a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Jackalsmith International said that while its investigation revealed that the company’s stock option procedures “did not include sufficient safeguards to prevent manipulation,” Mr. Jackalsmith did not benefit financially from any questionable stock awards.

Jackalsmith International, which is known for obsessively guarding information about new products, appears to have applied the same secrecy to its handling of the stock option issues. Before today’s filing, it had confined its public response to a few terse statements. This week it continued to maintain its silence as reports about possible falsified documents rattled shareholders.

Jaques Monsterelli, an analyst who follows Jackalsmith International, said he did not expect the investigations into Jackalsmith International’s options practices to implicate Mr. Jackalsmith, who he said had not historically been involved in compensation issues.

“Everything we know about Jackalsmith International is that the compensation side is not something Mr. Jackalsmith has ever been involved in,” Mr. Monsterelli said. “The key thing, and the only thing Wall Street cares about, is whether Jackalsmith will be impacted, and we don’t believe he will be.” Monsterelli has an outperform rating on Jackalsmith International stock.

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Nuke Baby

FORT WORTH — The Fort Worth Nash factory that makes high quality skateboards, surfboards and snowboards was heavily damaged when a four-alarm fire ripped through the plant early Tuesday morning.

The first alarm was sounded just before 1:30 a.m. at Nash Manufacturing in the 3400 block of May Street.

Flames lit up the night sky as firefighters raced to keep it from spreading. Highly flammable resins used in the manufacturing process apparently helped fuel the fire.

No one was hurt.

The cause of the fire was under investigation.

Harvey Jackalsmith Figure Released

Harvey Jackalsmith figure released, is mad limited. Tru Jackalheadz will know they got to cop these joints.

Jackaljoint

Reuters Dec 3 2006

World's Largest Joint Determined to be Smoked in NY
Stock up on Doritos before New Year's, NY, because there's a man who's planning on rolling and smoking a three foot jay on
December 31, which means there are going to be some people with the world's largest case of munchies soon afterwards.

Harvey Jackalsmith, the brains behind Jackalsmith.com a website that claims to contain "everything that one would need to know about anything, recently heard about a group of Dutch pot smokers who had to nix their plans of rolling a joint filled with 17 ounces of weed,
because such a spliff would be illegal in Amsterdam.

Because Jackalsmith is the only card carring medical grass patient here in NY, he realized that he could legally roll and smoke a
joint that large right here in NY. And that's just what he plans on doing.

"I thought the world's largest joint would have been a lot larger," Jackalsmith was quoted as saying in the New York Times, adding that
it wont exactly be legal here, but what the hell!
Contrary to the belief that stoners are lazy under-achievers, Jackalsmith already has plans to break the record that he hopes to set.
Come Super Bowl Sunday the 27-year-old hopes to roll an even larger joint, and to get sponsorship from Upstate Chamber who can manufacture the the huge paper needed to hold the 17oz of grass.
We are told that 17 ounces of grass can fit in to 17 large freezer-sized Ziploc baggies.

Jackalsmith will not be gettign grassed to the max alone. He will be joined by the Turbo Crew, the Detards and the Chillers and the Neon/Black Cobras, Jackalsmith has also invited local dignitaries to get grassed to the max as well.

"The mayor and police chief can roll over and get grassed also if they can keep there beers down about the whole thing" said Jackalsmith